Sans Magic

Posting here as promised on Twitter.

Let me work my way through your landing page top to bottom.

Biggest problem: the value proposition

That top part of your landing page has to contain your value proposition. This is what has to motivate people to click on your call to action (in this case "Learn more"). There are no hard and fast rules about how you should convey the value proposition but in 90% of the cases you'd use at least headline + subheadline + a relevant image/graphic (a.k.a. "the hero image"). 

Your headline, as part of the value proposition, serves a specific purpose: It tells the website visitor in about 2-5 seconds what this website is about, why they should stay and makes a promise (says what they will get).

The subheadline's purpose is to clarify the headline, if necessary.

The hero image has to show the product is used in context or visualize how the product improves the customer's life/business, etc. I think you're hero image successfully does this.

The current problem with your headline

The problems with your current headline (and the second headline, too: "Data Driven Digital Marketing The TechWyse SMART PLAN approach is Full Service Marketing" ):

• use of vague abstract terms like "data driven digital marketing", "full service approach", "smarter internet marketing". For each of these phrases, try to ask the question "What is this exactly? How do we provide it?" until you get to the bottom. The goal is to explain these abstract phrases in tangible terms e.g. "full service approach" is vague, but "we'll design a landing page for you, A/B test it, get you traffic, likes and Twitter followers" is specific and understandable. I'm not saying this should be the headline, just illustrating a point.
  
• your headline doesn't contain a promise. It's a tagline, a statement. Statements are weak. They only work for big known brands (like L'Oreal's "Because we deserve it." ). If you use the headline to make a promise instead, you'll be able to get people to take action.

To find a better headline

Try to answer these questions:

• What is the most painful problem that you're solving for your potential customer? What does this full service help them with? 
  
• What is the biggest benefit for them?
  
• Who are your potential customers? 
  

Then, a simple headline formula you could use is this: Get [biggest benefit] without [pain] + hint that it's for a specific group of people.

For example, let's suppose I can answer the above questions. Here's how I could form a headline for you:

• What is the most painful problem? They have to spend a lot of time wondering how to run a digital marketing strategy on their own. [1]
  
• What is the biggest benefit? You bring in sales and leads quickly. [2]
  
• Who are your potential customers? Small business owners, first-time business owners. [3]
  

So a headline could be:

Get [2] sales and leads for your [3] small business website without [1] moving a finger

(I didn't use the answers straight into the formula because I wanted to make this sound better)

But you still need to explain how exactly you're going to get your customers sales and leads. That's why a subheadline will be very much in line here.

A potential subheadline that clarifies the above headline: 

Just tell us about your business and we will create and run a complete digital marketing strategy for you—everything from landing page design to traffic building and measurement.

Note: I'm definitely not saying that you should test these particular headline + subheadline because I haven't researched your potential customers. I just made a few assumptions about them and your website so that I can illustrate the process.

Ways to improve the copy on the rest of the page

1. Remove "I/We/Our" from the text. People only care about themselves and their issues. That's what they want to hear about. Re-tell the "I/We/Our" sentences to use "You"
   
2. Don't talk about features, but about benefits, e.g. These headings are features: "Creative design, traffic building, measurement". Change them to benefits to make people read the paragraph below. The way to find the true benefit is to ask "Why do people need this?", e.g. Why do they need "creative design"? Probably to have professionally looking landing pages.
   
3. "But Really This is where YOU NEED to start". This is a clever headline that doesn't help you in any way. It should be a call to action like "Tell us about your business and we'll tell you how we can help" Something like that. It has explain how the potential customer benefits from filling in the form. 
   
4. That contact form at the bottom is intimidating which is probably why people are using the "Get in touch" button instead. Why do you need their last name right now? Is it that important? Also, why would they want to subscribe to some newsletter? They want help, not another newsletter they don't read. Remove unnecessary fields (reduce friction) to increase the CR of this form. And finally, "Submit" is a baad bad label to use. My advice would be to change it to something relevant that says what they get (e.g. "Get your free website evaluation now" or whatever happens after they submit that form)
   
5. I'm fairly certain that the follow section is unnecessary and mostly distracting. (No clicks on the "Like" button, for example). My guess is that this is because people are just not motivated to share a landing page. They share things they care about, things that represent who they are and things that help them connect with other people like them. Landing pages fall in none of these categories. 

Best of luck and please share your test results after you make changes. :)

—Gergana
@gerrydimova
http://sansmagi.cc