I had the same initial first reaction that there is a lot of text, which causes my eyes to jump around a little to find the starting point. I would like to see some type of hero image.
I think your logo is a bit big. I know you want to create some brand awareness but I think it competes with your main headline. I think the main headline is a little vague. What is easy to me might be hard to somebody else. I wouldn't sell it on being easy. I would sell it on a benefit.
Below your headline, you talk about managing this stuff as being a pain and being time consuming. I would change the headline to address that.
"Stop wasting all of your time managing staff holidays and sick days". Somewhere in that vein.
I would also give some type of lead in to each content block. For example, right now, the testimonial just jumps into the content without any real introduction.
After this line "If thats the case you are going to love Fabmin.", I would tie in the testimonial with something like the following -
"Ben does, here's what he has to say"
Then drop in the testimonial. There are a few places where you can do that.
I also agree that the cta should be encapsulated and moved up.
There are a few grammar issues that make the copy a little hard to read. For example, "so you and your staff can see who is off when". Off when runs together. It should be "who is off and when".
I think some images upfront, copy proofing and getting that CTA to a clearly identifiable state and position and you would be off in the right direction.
I had the same initial first reaction that there is a lot of text, which causes my eyes to jump around a little to find the starting point. I would like to see some type of hero image.
I think your logo is a bit big. I know you want to create some brand awareness but I think it competes with your main headline. I think the main headline is a little vague. What is easy to me might be hard to somebody else. I wouldn't sell it on being easy. I would sell it on a benefit.
Below your headline, you talk about managing this stuff as being a pain and being time consuming. I would change the headline to address that.
"Stop wasting all of your time managing staff holidays and sick days". Somewhere in that vein.
I would also give some type of lead in to each content block. For example, right now, the testimonial just jumps into the content without any real introduction.
After this line "If thats the case you are going to love Fabmin.", I would tie in the testimonial with something like the following -
"Ben does, here's what he has to say"
Then drop in the testimonial. There are a few places where you can do that.
I also agree that the cta should be encapsulated and moved up.
There are a few grammar issues that make the copy a little hard to read. For example, "so you and your staff can see who is off when". Off when runs together. It should be "who is off and when".
I think some images upfront, copy proofing and getting that CTA to a clearly identifiable state and position and you would be off in the right direction.